Anyone else's kids stressing out about back to school? Maddox is ready and excited to be back with his friends, and into sports.. the girls on the other hand have some anxiety and separation anxiety... As well as me.
I feel like this summer went by so fast. I feel like I didn't do enough with my kids, and I'm anxious about the change of being home without them. For the last 11 years I've been home with a baby/toddler/child, and always having them in tow. It's going to be so different being home alone from 8:30am-4:00pm. I can't help but keep thinking, "What am I going to do solo?!"
I spent some time this summer working on a to do list of sorts of all the things I want to accomplish while the kids are in school. Some personal goals, business goals, family goals. All the things.. and it has made me feel a bit better! I love the mindset that September brings, I always feel like when the season changes to fall I set new goals. It almost feels similarly close to setting goals in the new year, just a new season.
Since back to school is so close, I've started implementing our school year routines. Maddox and I have started running three or four days a week, and every time I leave I make sure to give the girls hugs and tell them I love them and to have a wonderful day. It may sound silly, but I'm working on a separation routine. This is what I do every morning before the kids get on the bus, and by the time school rolls around they will be familiar with the separation routine.
Our new routines include bath nights and chores. I've set a baseline of kids going to school every morning "clean and groomed". Meaning my baseline is they need to have clean clothes, clean faces, and tidy hair. The girls have started picking out their own clothes, and are they always the ones I want them to wear? No, most definitely not. Does Maddox sometimes wear the same pants/shirt 3 days in a row? Absolutely. But do I wash it every night he wears it? I try to yup! Baseline = Clean and groomed.
We have all our school supplies bought and labeled, backpacks are already hanging in the entrance and the kids have been brainstorming lunch ideas! Our September schedule is also ready as well as our meal plan for September. I love the feeling of being prepped in advance. Those last two days before school starts and that first week of school are so so exhausting for everyone, I feel it's super important to be prepped well ahead of time. I also try not to plan any extra stuff that first week of school.
Even though everything is planned ahead, and everything is ready.. the kids are still nervous. It is really important to let your children know that it's totally normal to be nervous. Constantly telling kids they'll be fine actually leads to them having bigger feelings.
As parents we need to validate those feelings of nervousness and anxiety and install hope. I love this method of parenting I've learned from Dr Becky from Good Inside. Validating a feeling and installing hope looks like this;
"I know you're feeling anxious and scared about the new school year and meeting a new teacher, but I know you are brave and capable of doing big things. I know you can get on the bus in the morning and have a great day with your friends!"
or
"I know you're feeling anxious about starting hockey this year, but you are capable of having fun on the ice and skating and learning! You are capable of new things!"
And when they fight back, its ok to take that step back, take a breath, and take a moment for yourself. It will come.
And as important as it is to get your kids ready for school, let's not forget how stressful the days leading up to back to school are for mama. Make sure to get some me time in there, ask for help. It takes a village to raise a child. And if you see a mama struggling ask if you can help her! Not everyone has that village of friends and family close by to fall on!
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